


Shooting Stars

by Mina8992



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e18 Shooting Star, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Klaine, M/M, Maturity, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, School Shootings, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, blaine and brittany friendship, brittana, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9515957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mina8992/pseuds/Mina8992
Summary: What if there really had been a shooter in 4x18. Two end up at the hospital, with an experience that brings them closer to each other. They end up finding help with someone that really shouldn't care all that much, but can't help wanting them to find hope and love again. Klaine and Brittana





	1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

Victim. McKinley. Shooting.

A buzzing sound overcomes her senses as she momentarily tunes out what the other nurses are saying. Fear gripped her soul as she tried to regain the ability to breathe normally, this was her job; she was a professional. She had seen families being decimated by car accidents, parents taken away by cancer, friends contracting terminal diseases, children dying before they ever got a chance to truly enjoy life. But these are your kids; Finn’s kids. She quickly shuts down the little voice that keeps nagging at the back of her mind and automatically goes into nurse-mode, these kids need help medically and emotionally, and she wasn’t going to let any of them down or leave them alone.

Sixteen hours later and all ten students that had been injured during the shooting were stable and in their beds. Her double-night shift was coming to an end, and she couldn’t wait to get back home to her husband. Only four out of the ten had actually been shot and hurt by the gunman, the rest had gotten injured during the commotion to hide. A shiver seizes her body as she wonders how many more students could have been hurt if Coach Beiste had not tackled the gunman after he was distracted by Will; the two were the heroes of the hour. But they didn’t want any recognition, they just wanted their kids to be okay; and most of them were. Except they weren’t. While only two had been hurt physically, she knew that the others would need countless hours of counselling to help them get over what they had witnessed in the choir room that day. They would have to get over their fear every time they heard a sharp noise, would have to forget seeing the pool of blood underneath their friends. It would take time before they truly felt safe in that school again. It was kind of ironic that the place they used to feel the safer in the entire school was now the only room that they deigned enter.

It would take her quite some time as well to forget seeing the two fragile teenagers, bleeding on the white stretchers, crying, afraid, and alone. They looked so young in that moment, their hair and skin contrasting sharply with the white of the room. Mr. Shue was trailing behind them solemnly and she could see that he was trying to be strong for the other kids that had followed to the hospital, he was the leader and he couldn’t afford to be weak in front of any of them. She doesn’t remember clearly what happens next, as if her body was moving on its own accord without her registering what was happening. She remembers stopping the bleeding; on the leg and in the stomach for the young girl, and in the stomach and on the shoulder for the young boy. They were shot twice each; that she remembers. She doesn’t remember the reason or how it happened; nor does she really care. It isn’t fair that the two young singers were shot simply because they were at the wrong place, at the wrong time, wearing the wrong thing. They would probably never be able to wear their white and red uniforms again, it would only remind them of the time it all been all red, of that time when they distracted a shooter to protect the youngest uniform-clad singer hiding at the back of the choir room.

The day has been draining both physically and emotionally, yet she knows that she has to see them one last time before going home to make sure they are alright and with their family. It’s not because her kids left the house that she doesn’t have a maternal instinct anymore. She grabs her bag and heads for the hospital room where the two teenagers are resting, both refusing to be separated from one another (having a full-blown panic attack when they couldn’t see the other one). She silently hopes that their parents have not come to pick them up yet so she can see with her own eyes that they are alright. The scene she arrives at is the exact opposite of what she was expecting.

“I’m sorry both of you, but we simply cannot let you leave the hospital without an adult.”

“My parents won’t be back for another six months, you’re not going to make me stay here until now are you?” asks the young boy with more bite than usual.

“Mine are gone on their honeymoon -again- I also don’t know when they’re coming back.” Murmurs the young girl, much more quiet than her usual bubbly self.

“Well then we’ll have to wait until a guardian or someone can take care of you, you’re still just kids, we can’t just let you leave all on your own-”

She can see right away that both teens are not listening anymore as they lean back in their respective beds dejectedly, they want to get out of here; forget about what has happened to them. She can understand their point of view, but with their injuries they wouldn’t be able to take care of themselves.

“They’ll come with me Jackie.” She says before she can stop herself. She should really discuss this with her husband before taking the decision, but she knows he’ll see eye-to-eye with her. Her words immediately startle the two teens who look to her with their big eyes, she can see unshed tears in them and a certain maturity that wasn’t present before the accident.

They don’t event think to argue with her, they know that when she sets her mind to something there is no turning back. Instead they thank her with a small smile and start moving out of their bed, they’re both wearing some baggy sweatpants and sweater that seem quite familiar to her; they probably belong to Sam. She quickly fills out the paperwork and turns back to the two teens, the guy can walk – more like hobble- but the young girl has to be wheeled out of the hospital. 

Well one thing was for sure, this was not how Carole Hudson-Hummel had imagined her day going when she started her shift that morning. Working in the hospital was always unpredictable, but never in her life did she think she’d live a day like today. A day where she helped patched up shot teenagers and leave the hospital with one Brittany S. Pears and one Blaine Anderson. Yup, not really how she had expected her shift to go.

After a quick call to Burt, to assure him that no student was too bad off and to tell him that she was bringing two home (which he immediately agreed to), she called Sam to ask him to go get clothes for the two injured, he knew his way around both house and would save her an awful amount of time.

“You can drive us home Miss Hummel, we’ll be fine by ourselves. There’s no need-“

“Now you stop that sentence right there Blaine Anderson. First of all, it’s still Carol, no matter what happened between you and Kurt. That goes for you as well Brittany. Second, there is no way I am leaving you both in big empty houses to fend for yourself. You are staying at our house, I’ve already called Burt, and I will hear no complaining. Understood?”

“Yes, m’mam….” Came the mumbled answer from both teenagers in the back, there really was no arguing with the woman when she set her mind to something.

“Good. Now I heard from the nurses that you two have a problem about being separated so we’ll set you up in Kurt’s old bedroom; he’s got the bigger bed.”

“NO!” Blaine shouted. “I-I mean…. I c-can’t… He wouldn’t want…. I j-just can’t…” he started mumbling shaking in the back seat until Brittany curled up next to him and started whispering some things to him.

Carol couldn’t hear what was being said, but it seemed to have the desired effect. “It will be just fine Miss- I mean Carol- we’ll stay there.” Replied Brittany after a few seconds with a maturity that she had never displayed. “Just, please, don’t tell Kurt about any of it. Or anyone in New York for that matter, it would probably be better that way.”

She can only give short nod to the young girl; it was a promise she didn’t think she could keep.


	2. Of Adjustments and New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the positive response! I hope you continue to enjoy the story as much as I like writing it. Sorry for the short chapter, lots of correction to do for my students + my master's essay are taking a little bit of my time these weeks. ;)

 

**Lima-Hudson/Hummel House**

It was unusual to see the two young babble-mouths silent, but not a single other word was uttered during the car ride. As soon as she pulled the car in the driveway, the older Hummel man came out of the house to help the injured get to safety inside the house. No words were exchanged between the couple, they understood what the other wanted with a single look.

The couple showed the younger ones their room (well Kurt’s really) with fresh bedding before leading each one to a shower. They had had a sponge bath at the hospital but it couldn’t really count as a real shower, the adults stayed in the room in case they were needed; and thank the lord they did.

“That’s enough Blaine, if you keep rubbing you’ll remove your skin.”

“But there’s still blood- it’s everywhere on me.”

“The water’s not hot enough, it’s not washing it.”

“It’s plenty warm Brittany, there’s no more blood dear.”

They both pulled the teen forcefully out of the bathtub and dried them, the embarrassment of being naked in front of their friends’ parents completely forgotten. They were like hollow shells, letting themselves be controlled as they were dried, bandaged, dressed, and fed some meds for pain. The only emotion they showed was a small sigh of relief once they found each other. They quickly curled up in bed, sticking as closely to each other as possible without hurting their wounds, and were asleep within minutes.

As Burt closed the bedroom door, he saw his wife’s shoulder sag as exhaustion finally took hold of her body. He barely had time to hold her in his arm when the front door opened, and Sam’s voice was heard. He gave her a quick shoulder squeeze, silently telling her to go to bed, before making his way downstairs to help the young blond who looked positively distraught with various bags in his hands and his guitar slung over his shoulder.

“They calmed down a little when we sang for them last night, maybe it could still work…” was the only explanation offered.

It was decided that Sam would stay in Finn’s room since the latter was currently away figuring some things out, he was a familiar figure to both injured teens that could be reassuring. It was also established that Burt would not lie to his own son, if Kurt asked directly he would tell him the truth. However, as per Sam’s request, he would not offer information if there were no questions asked. The school was closed for the next three days, once it would re-open Sam had to attend all of his classes (no exceptions). As soon as Brittany and Blaine were stable enough they would have to go as well. All three kids would stay living at the house until the adults deemed them fit to live alone, and they were going to make sure that wasn’t taken lightly.

This could work. They would help them get better... right?

 

**New-York City- Bushwick Apartment**

They learn about it while watching the lunch news after a particularly busy karaoke Wednesday night. A sinking feeling settles in their stomach and they quickly rush to their phones to make the phone calls. No one talks about the fact that they ignored texts, calls and tweets from their old glee friends the day before; they’re New Yorkers they were too busy to answer. But now as they’re trying to call others and get no answers, guilt seeps through their veins.

Kurt tries to call Blaine; it goes straight to voicemail.

Santana tries Brittany; also straight to voicemail.

Rachel tries Finn; no answer.

Kurt tries Tina; it goes to a voicemail of her mom saying Tina has no access to her phone until her grades go back up.

Rachel tries Sam...

“ _Hm_?” His groaning answer was enough of a proof to know that they were waking him up… at noon?

“Sam are you okay? God we just saw on the news about yesterday! They said that students were shot and injured; we wanted to-”

“ _Wait- Who? Ah, Rachel. Hi.”_

“Sam now’s not the time to be sleepy, you’re the only one that actually answered his phone. Anyways sleeping at this hour in not good for your body, it’s actually proven-”

“Ok time’s up Berry. Give me the phone.” Said Santana grabbing the phone from Rachel and putting it on speaker phone. “Trouty mouth, wake up and answer before Autie Snix comes out and goes all Lima Height on you.”

An awkward silence followed where they briefly wondered if he had hung up the phone. Before they had time to check a long sigh alerted them that he was indeed still there. Why was he sighing anyways? They were the ones who should be exasperated, what with everyone not answering their phones.

“ _We’re all fine. Even the students that were shot, no one’s life is in danger.”_

Relief washed over the trio of New Yorker and they finally let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding.

“So, eum, who was shot? Anyone we know?” tried Kurt.

_“Some Cheerios and a member of the faculty.”_

If they felt like he was withholding some information; they didn’t ask for more. If they felt like they were bothering him more than anything; they ignored the feeling.

“Oh god, cause…. Blaine and the others were not answering their phones so…” Kurt spoke softly; I mean it wasn’t because they weren’t a couple anymore that he couldn’t worry. Right?

“Brit was not answering either.”

“Or Finn!” quipped Rachel.

 _“Oh well you know, Blaine broke his phone and, eum, I think Brit lost hers (again). Finn he’s well… figuring things out; he’s not in Lima.”_ He wasn’t lying, simply not telling the whole truth either. He didn’t need to deal with the drama they could bring, he had plenty on his plate already. “ _Look guys, it’s been a stressful couple of days. They closed the school until Tuesday so that they can set up some metal detectors and some therapists. We’re fine, we just need a little bit of time to regroup and all that.”_

“Yeah that’s fine… anyways we were thinking about coming up for Regionals so I guess we’ll see everyone next week?”

“ _NO! I mean, that’s no necessary. We’d love to have you obviously, but it’s really not necessary. I mean, the competition was pushed like a month or more. To give us time to recover and all... so yeah no need to come. Really, it’s a mess here so: DO.NOT.COME. Alright? Anyways I gotta go, good talk guys. I’ll text you the new competition date so you can buy a ticket or something.”_

And just like that the line was cut before they could say anything else.

“We didn’t even have a chance to tell him our tickets were already bought…”

“We could maybe try to see if we can get a refund or change the date? It seemed like he really didn’t want us there…”

“We’ll see. Otherwise, well it’s going to be a big surprise for everyone. They’ll be glad to see us anyways I’m sure.” And briefly the wondered who they were trying to convince.

A British voice coming out of the bathroom brought them out of their stupor, and suddenly everything about the shooting was forgotten and they were reminiscing their epic karaoke outing of last night. It’s not that they didn’t care about everyone in Lima, honest. It’s just that they’re busy, they live in New York now and their old glee club members just wouldn’t understand the stress and excitement that the big city brings.


	3. Of Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> We are getting the first confrontation soon!! We'll get to see just how much New York has changed our trio....

 

 **Lima- Hummel/Hudson house**       

The first day is far from being eventful. Still on a very high dose of pain meds, the two injured sleep for most of the day. Carol wakes up around noon, and eats a bowl of cereal with Sam cross legged on the couch. No words are exchanged between the two, though they silently agree that this will soon become a tradition. When Burt comes through the door at 12:30 for his lunch break, he finds them still on the couch eating in silence in their pyjamas. He doesn’t say anything, goes to the kitchen, grabs a bowl for himself and comes and sit down with them.

“Rachel called.”

The spoons stopped moving.

“Asked if we were alright. I told them yes. They said they wanted to come next week for the regional’s competition, I said it was delayed and that they should absolutely not come. I told them that it was Cheerios that were shot… I didn’t lie, you know? I just felt like…” Deep breaths, try to control your tears.

“You did well son. I’ll deal with them if they call again.” He slowly gets up and pick the three bowls putting them in the sink; he’ll wash them when he comes back. He silently hopes his son won’t call or come by, he figures he won’t. New York has changed his boy, and sometimes he doesn’t think that the change is for the best.

***

The first incident happens while they are trying to have supper downstairs, they hear a sharp cry and they all bolt up the stairs. They arrive to two sobbing mess that are in pain because they made a false movement and hurt themselves. It takes one song and they are calm again. The three caretakers are quite hopeful that their recovery will go well since it was the first incident, Carol decides to lower their morphine dosage since they seemed to be doing fine. She calls in sick for her night shift that night, too tired to even consider going to work.

It was a mistake to lower the pain meds.

The first night is hell. They wake up a total of seven times. Five times because they move too much and hurt their wound. Two times because of the nightmares; those are harder to deal with. Blaine and Brittany scream and thrash around, stuck in their horrid dream world. They are asleep, yet Burt and Carol have to hold them down to prevent them from hurting themselves. Sam tries to sing to calm them down, it sounds more like a blubbering mess from all the crying; but it does the job anyways.

They sleep all through the next day, Carol having up their pain med again to allow everyone a small respite. It’s Friday, Burt still needs to go to work that day and brings Sam to distract him figuring that the two wounded will sleep throughout the day anyhow. They force the two patients to eat breakfast and supper, if only a dry toast. They don’t realise until Carol leaves for work that night, that the three of them have forgotten to eat since they brought the others home. They will, just later?

The second night is not much better.

When Carol comes home on Saturday morning, they realise they are quite in over their heads as they stare at the mountain of dishes and dirty clothes that seem to grow every hour of the day. Sam calls reinforcements and suddenly the house is buzzing with people and it actually seems to help everyone’s morale. Soon Blaine and Brittany are interacting with others and for a moment they don’t look like empty shells; they’re starting to look alive again.

Sam takes the habit of simply sleeping in the hallway next to their door at night, he hears them better and can calm them down faster that way.

During the 5th night on Monday, he punches a hole in the wall after hearing quiet whispers.

“Why didn’t we die?” the silence of the night is broken by the girl’s voice, for a second Sam wonders if she’s asleep or not.

“I don’t know.”

“Would anyone care if we did?”

“I don’t know.”

Definitely not asleep, this was a fully-awake conversation.

“I don’t think so…”

“Me neither.”

“Maybe they would have all been happier if we’d be gone.”

“Wouldn’t have to worry about us screwing up their lives anymore.”

“I feel like people are always disappointed with me.”

“Because we can’t do anything right.”

“Are we worth anything to anyone Blaine?”

“No.”

He waits for the conversation to continue before realising they have probably fallen asleep.

When Burt wakes up the next morning there’s a hole in the wall. It’s never said what happened and he doesn’t ask.

During the 6th night, Burt wakes up in the middle of the night and as he putting a blanket on top of Sam’s sleeping form he overhears voices.

“Do you think we deserve what happened to us?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because all we do is disappoint and hurt people, we deserve to suffer for the pain we make them go through.”

“We don’t deserve to be loved, do we?”

“No.”

“They’re better off with other people, aren’t they?”

“Yes.”

“Even if it hurts us so much I want to die?”

“Yes. We deserve it, we hurt them first.”

“Is anyone ever going to love us?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why can’t they love us Brit? Our parents and them…, why don’t they love us?

“Because we’re not worth of their love Blaine. We deserve to hurt for all we did to them.”

“Will we ever find love you think?”

“No.”

“I thought so too…”

He waits a moment after they stop speaking to see if there’s more. After a few moments he realises that they are sound asleep and that hot tears are rolling down his face.

When Sam wakes up he sees another hole above his own on the wall; he never questions how it got there.

The therapist comes by the house during the afternoon, after three sessions she announces that Blaine and Brittany will try to go back to school on Thursday afternoon. She feels as though they are ready, the occupants of the house know that it’s only a front they are putting up, but don’t mention it.

Sam comes to pick them up during the lunch break to bring them with him. They flinch when they see the metal detectors, but make no comments. They seem genuinely happy to be there and see their school friends. If anyone finds it odd that they are not letting go of each other’s hand; they don’t mention it.

“Is there a glee practice tonight?” asks Blaine during their break.

“Yeah, well more like a small get together in the auditorium. Wanna come?” Sam’s hopeful at this point and he can see Tina and Artie also looking on with a smile.

Brittany and Blaine exchanged a look before nodding, music had always helped to heal their wounds.

Saturday morning at the Hudson-Hummel household is fairly quiet for once. The occupants having only been woken up once during the night, everyone feels strangely refresh. Carol comes home from work and goes to sleep for a short time (she needs to get back on day schedule for next week), Sam decides to do the same as Burt takes care of feeding Brittany and Blaine. Both scarred teens are too tired to stay up, and after trying to do their homework for a while they head back up to sleep off their exhaustion of the day before.

A little after twelve, only an hour or so after Blaine and Brit went to bed, Carol and Sam get up and go downstairs to eat. This is their tradition now. Carol and Sam will sit on the couch cross-legged and eat their bowl of cereal. If Burt is there he’ll sit in the chair and silently drink their coffee, as he is now. For once the house seems strangely peaceful, and they can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel of pain they’ve been thrust in 10 days ago.

And then their silent moment is broken by the door slamming open.

“I’m home! Surprise!”

Carol and Sam turn their head around staring at reason for their disturbed peace with a dumbfound expression. They must be dreaming. They can’t be there; not when everything was finally starting to look up. Even Burt is speechless as he stares at his son and his two friends, maybe he should’ve answered that phone call last night…

This could not bode well for anyone.


	4. Of Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Some events are non-canon compliant to fit with the story.
> 
> *Finn never beat the crap out of Brody in New York.
> 
> *Blaine was not in love with Sam, he simply had a little crush.
> 
> *Santana has already met Dani and has started a relationship with her.
> 
> *Finn has not returned to Lima to teach the New Directions yet.

 

**Lima- Hudson-Hummel household**

The three intruders who have burst through the door stare silently at the unconventional scene going on in front of them. Sam and Carol are still in their pyjamas with what appears to be a bowl of cereal in their hands, spoon still midair to their mouths. Burt looks equally stunned sitting in his chair, coffee in hand, as he stares at his son and the girls.

Carol’s the first to recover, pushing her semi-empty bowl in Sam’s hand and going to great the New Yorkers. Sam’s brain suddenly switches to on and he goes to put the empty bowls amongst the rest of the dirty dishes, before joining Burt and Carol into welcoming the city dwellers.

“Sam! What are you doing here? We weren’t expecting to see you…I mean of course we were expecting to see you, but more at McKinley when we surprised you guys.”

“I think what Rachel means is: what are you doing in my house? …Weren’t you living with Blaine?”

Oh, right. He wasn’t supposed to live here.

However, his brain had yet to start working and he was very thankful when Burt decided to answer the question in his stead: “The Anderson are on a family vacation, we figured it was better for Sam to stay with us and not be alone.” It wasn’t exactly a lie…

“Oh well that’s good I guess. We’ll go drop our things in my room and be right back. Did you have glee practice today Sam?”

“No! I mean yes.”

Panic mode: activated. Mission: Make sure they don’t see Blaine or Brittany in Kurt’s bed.

“Which one is it Ken?”

“Yes, practice at McKinley in an hour: you should most definitely come. Why don’t I take your bags upstairs to Kurt’s room so you guys can catch up?! I need to get dress anyways, and it’s the least I can do for letting me stay.”

“To Finn’s room you mean Sam.” Carol turns to the young Hummel man. “I’m sorry Kurt we put Sam in your room since Finn visits more often. We’ll just change the sheets and you three can stay in his room for the weekend.”

Without even waiting for an answer, Carol and Sam took their bags and dashed upstairs with a hushed conversation going on between them. Too bewildered to say anything, the three arrivals looked at each other before being led to the couch by Burt who offered them a cup of coffee.

“So what happened? I thought you said you were able to change your ticket dates?”

“It sounds like you’re not happy to see us dad. We worked around our busy schedules to make it this weekend!!?”

Sigh. “I didn’t mean it like that kiddo. Just maybe you should be saving your money?”

“No problem there! Santana won a contest and we actually won a rental car for the weekend, we figured we could go through an eight-hour drive to help the New Directions prepare for regionals.”

“Ah well, that’s good.”

An awkward silence followed, the trio pointedly ignoring the ruckus being made upstairs. Surely changing the sheets didn’t take that long? The girls were being unusually quiet, and Kurt kept observing his father that looked beyond tired. Surely if there was a problem with his health he would have said so? It was probably just the treatments that were tiring. Right?

“Aright guys, let’s go!”

Thank god for Sam and his impeccable timing.

**Lima- McKinley high school**

The road to their old high school was filled with some small talk, that Sam was obviously forcing himself to do. They pulled in the parking lot and followed the blond when he led them to the auditorium.

“No choir room speech today?”

Sam freezes. Of course they’d ask that, they weren’t being inconsiderate: they just didn’t know. But didn’t the fact that they never cared enough to ask meant that they did in fact not give a damn about it all?

“No, not today.” He answers with a small head shake. He had promised Burt and Carol he’d play nice this week-end. He was intent on keeping his word (or at least trying).

When they enter the auditorium all the glee members freeze and stare at them. Too caught up in their own world the New Yorker think that the younger teens are simply impressed and happy to see them; they were part of the winning National team last year after all (an important part of the winning team) and they are NYADA students (surely that means something).

Mr. Shue also seems to be happy to see them and warmly greets them. They’re his biggest accomplishment, of course he’s happy to see them.

“It’s so great to see you all! And perfect timing too, you guys can take the spot of our absentees.”

“Well, Kurt and Santana can. I’m actually resting my voice for an audition. I’ll be more than happy to look-on and give pointers.”

*Insert collective eye-roll*

“Alright then Kurt will take Blaine’s place and Santana you’ll take Brittany’s.”

That’s true, Blaine was on vacation with the family. “Where’s Brit?”

“Oh, she’s sick?! Flu, very contagious so I told her to stay home.” Hands clapped. “Alright everyone in position and let’s get this show on the run.”

And just like that everything fell back into place, as if they had never left McKinley. The feeling that they were unwelcomed when they arrived in the auditorium quickly dissipated as they starting having fun with the new New Directions. It was a nice change of pace from their everyday lives in New York, and they became briefly nostalgic. All the high schoolers were acting so normal, that none of the outsider even thought of asking them about the shooting.

“Alright guys that’s it for today! Go enjoy your Saturday night!”

“You alright there, Lady Hummel? Or was this too hard for you?” Santana ask, slightly flushed herself.

“Oh I’m great, you know this is nothing compared to NYADA classes. I was gonna ask how you were; you know since you don’t really perform anymore.” He said catching his breath, the choreographies were more energetic than the ones in Adam’s Apple.

A heated staring contest started between the two friends until Sam spoke up, totally unaware he was interrupting something. “Burt says there is nothing to eat, so we’ll pick up some food at Breadsticks before going home.”

“Oh, I’ll call him to get his order then.”

“No use, he sent it to me.”

“My dad texts?!?!”

“Well, yeah… You guys ready to go?”

**Lima, Hummel-Hudson House**

They settled around the dining room table, and, after Kurt had grilled his father about not telling him he texted now, had started a small talk around the table. Well actually, it was more like Carol and Burt asking questions while the three expatriate talked about their wonderful lives in New York (it was pretty much a one-way conversation). Sam was finally feeling a little stress leave his shoulder as the diner progressed. Carol had texted him while they were at McKinley that Blaine and Brittany had gotten up that afternoon to eat and shower. Burt had explained that Kurt, Santana and Rachel were staying at the house for the night, they had apparently taken it quite well only asking to not be forced to see them. Carol had given them their pain meds and they went both to sleep, still exhausted from their school day the day before.

It’s not that Sam didn’t like Kurt, Rachel or Santana; he actually quite liked them. He just didn’t want to see his two friends be hurt, and if that meant lying and hiding stuff: he would do it in a heart beat.

Just when he thought that the supper would be finished the sound of a broken glass followed by a shrill yell broke the conversation.

The trio watched, dumbfounded, as Carol, Burt and Sam rushed upstairs: skipping a few steps. When they decided to follow them, nothing could have prepared them for the sight before them.

Carol was holding down Brittany on Kurt’s old bed. The blond with a bloodied hand and leg was thrashing around and yelling: “Blood! It’s everywhere. Blood! I’m gonna die! He’s gonna die. BLAINE! BLAINE!!!!!!”

Slightly turning their heads, they saw Burt holding Blaine down on the ground. The young man also had a bloody hand (presumably from the broken glass on the ground). Burt was holding his hands while the young man tried to get them free. Unlike Brit, he wasn’t yelling simply mumbling: “Blood. I’m gonna die. Deserve to die. Gonna die. Blood it’s everywhere. Should’ve died. Brittany, blood…” He kept trying to wrestle his way out, and Burt was having a hard time being stronger than the teen.

Sam was trying to clean the blood off of Brittany’s hand, he was singing softly but the tears trailing down his face kept making his voice hitch. After the third time that the young Cheerio pulled her hand free, Carol spoke in a calm voice.

_“Blood. I’m gonna die. Deserve to die. Gonna die. Blood it’s everywhere. Should’ve died. Blood…”_

“Sam honey, go get the shots in our room: this is a bad one. My night-table; first drawer.” She winced as she received an elbow-jab in the stomach. “Quickly now.”

Sam rushed out the room, barely glancing at the three dumbfounded humans in the doorway. He came back a minute later, holding a small black bag.

“ _Blood! It’s everywhere. Blood! I’m gonna die! He’s gonna die. BLAINE! BLAINE!!!!!!”_

“Alright we’re gonna have to switch so I can give the shots.” She started, yelling to be heard above the cries of Brittany. Sam put the little black case at the edge of the bed before moving to the blonde’s side. He locked gaze with Carol as she temporarily released Brittany so Sam could grab her. It looked like a well rehearsed dance, and before they could blink Carol was up and about. She grabbed the black case and pulled a vial with two syringes.

“Hold her arm as steady as possible Sam.” She said approaching the duo. Sam was sitting behind Brittany, his legs keeping hers from moving. He grabbed her right flailing arm as Carol approached, she quickly grabbed it as well and plunged the syringe in it.

“It’ll take a few seconds. Burt can you bring Blaine on the bed?” She asked turning to her husband still on the floor.

“Don’t -ouf- think so. He’s not snapping out.”

 _“Blaine!!! Blai… Bl…”_ As Carol crouched in front of the tangle ball of limbs that was Brut and Blaine, the yelling stopped and Brittany’s breathing returned to normal as she collapsed on the bed.

Grabbing Blaine’s arm proved to be much harder, he was stronger and it took a few tries until they finally grabbed it and injected the med directly in his veins. He immediately calmed down, and after a few more seconds he was sleeping in Burt’s arm.

“Sam, help me get him up on the bed.”

“I’ll go get some towels. Oh! You kids are here.”

“What-”

“After, we’ll explain after. You can go back down.” She went out of the room, coming back with some wet towels. None had moved.

She handed a towel to Sam and one to Burt, as they got to work on the bloodied hands (again in Brittany’s case) she left and reappeared with some bandages and some clean sheets. Without a word, the two injured were lifted from the bed while Carol quickly removed the soiled sheets and replaced them.

Brittany was clean first, Sam quietly removed her pyjama and she was left in her underwear so that Carol could work on the leg wound. Without clothes obstructing, they could see the extent of the wounds of the young girl. One in the shoulder, that had re-opened during the thrashing around, and one of the thigh that seemed to have been scratched until it bled.

The nurse wrapped both wound while Sam worked on putting some clothes back on the dead weight. On the other side of the bed, Burt worked on removing Blaine’s clothes and bringing to light his two wounds: one in the shoulder, one in the stomach.

“Sam go grab some clean clothes from Finn’s wardrobe please; Blaine’s all out.”

Carol worked on Blaine’s wound, while Burt carefully tucked Brittany in. Sam returned a second later with some clothes. Both man worked on dressing the young boxer, before tucking him in. When everything was done they all let a huge sigh of exhaustion.

“Let’s go down and finish eating.”

“I’m not hungry.” Mumbled Sam.

“I didn’t ask you. You’re coming down and eating son.”

“… Yes, sir.”

“Dad-”

“Not here, downstairs. The food is getting cold.”

“Who cares about the food?! What the-”

“I said downstairs. Now.” End of conversation.

It was time to come clean.


	5. Of Explanations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspiration for this chapter is: Burning House by Cam.

**Lima- Hudson-Hummel house**

They settled around the table again, as if nothing had happened upstairs and waited patiently. An unspoken rule was established that no-one would say anything until Burt deemed it fit. The only sound for a while was the utensils rattling against the plates, until the elder’s voice broke the silence.

“They have PTSD.”

“Isn’t that something only, like, ex-soldiers get?”

“Anyone who lives a traumatic incident can get it. After what they went through last week, it was expected that something like that would happen.” The nurse pipped.

“Why are they here?”

“Because I brought them from the hospital, they had no one to care for them.”

A thousand thoughts were running through Kurt’s mind, he was feeling guilty and angry at the same time. Guilty that he hadn’t pushed to talk more about it after the shooting, or gotten suspicious after Blaine hadn’t answered his calls for a week. Angry that they had lied to him, and the girls, when they had called and asked if everyone was alright. Deep breath in, deep breath out; try to find the right words without exploding.

“What the hell are you talking about? We fucking called you and asked you if everyone was okay: you said yes. They are CLEARLY not okay!” yelled Santana, well so much for staying calm.

“Why the hell-!”

“Sam, quiet!” Interrupted Burt. Sam mumbled a silent _yes, sir_ before sitting back down and resuming to push his food around his plate.

“And you, young lady, will not talk like that in my house.” He said looking pointedly at the young Latina who was slowly shrinking back in her seat. “No one here lied to anyone, we truly thought they were alright when we first brought them home.”

“Sam said it was just some cheerios that had been shot.” Rachel offered in a quiet voice, she seemed to be the most level-headed at the moment (for once).

“Blaine and Brittany are both part of the squad. They had their uniform on that day; as did the other victims.”

“Why didn’t you tell us? We called you and you didn’t tell us! Did you stop to think about what this would mean to us? Did you consider our feelings for just a second? Did-”

“Oh would you just shut up!”

“Sam!”

“What did you just say trouty mouth? Cause I’m about to go all Lima Heights on you and you know what happens in Lima height!”

“Yes, I do! Because I fucking live here and you don’t! You might have left Lima to go chase your dreams, but we’re still stuck in this crap-hole. And life goes on here and bad stuff happens, and it didn’t stop because you left! I’m sorry Burt, Carol, I tried to play nice but this is it! Y’all so freaking selfish it’s unbelievable!”

“Excuse me!?”

“You heard me! You the most selfish and egocentric people I have ever met. This visit for example, you didn’t ask anyone if it was okay for you to come home: you just assumed we wanted to see you!”

“This is our home Sam; we care about the people here.”

“But it isn’t! You keep reminding us at every opportunity you can! And clearly you don’t care about any of us, because you haven’t asked a single question since you’ve arrived!”

“Yes-”

“NO! You’ve been here a whole day and you haven’t asked one question. Why don’t we go in the choir room? Why isn’t Kitty wearing her cheerio uniform? Why am I living here? Why do your parents look like zombies? Where the hell is Finn? Why did Brittany and Blaine get shot twice? Why are they saying those kind of things when they have an attack? Why-”

“That’s enough now Sam.” The only calm voice in the dining room interrupts him in the middle of his rant. “Go upstairs and calm yourself.”

Deep breath in. “Yes m’man.” Deep breath out. “I’m sorry… I really did mean to-”

This time it was Burt who spoke up: “It’s okay son, just go get some rest.”

Kurt waited for Sam to be out of the dining room before speaking up. “That’s it?! That’s all your gonna say? You’re actually letting him speak to me that way? You’re supposed to be MY dad and defend me when someone is spouting horrible nonsense to me.” He stood up brusquely with a huff. “Unless you agreed with everything he said. Of course, because now that I’m gone you just go and replace me.”

“Kurt that’s not fair.”

“No! You know what isn’t fair, father? That you just let him say all those things about me and didn’t even flinch! That you lied to me. That’s what’s not fair! I need the get the fuck outta here. Come on girls, we’re gonna go get wasted in little shitty Lima.”

He doesn’t wait for a response from his two friends, simply storming out of the house. It’s not long after that Rachel and Santana follow, the latter slamming the door as she goes. It’s not until they hear the tire screeching and the rental car leaving their driveway that the old married couple let out a sigh of exhaustion.

“He didn’t say it in the right way, but you do know there were some truth under all that Sam said?” she asked her husband, slowly picking up the plates to put them on the counter; they’d be washed later.

“I know; I wish it wasn’t though… I barely recognize my own son sometimes; the city has changed him. And I’m not sure it’s for the better…”

“He’ll get through eventually; he just needs to live some things, to grow up.” She links her arm around his shoulder, leaning her head on his. “Come on, let’s get to bed; I don’t think it’s going to be a good night.”

**

When they stumbled back into the house, it was well over 3am and yet a soft melody could be heard.

“Shhhhhhhhh.” They giggled, quite obviously drunk off their asses. After ranting and bitching they had started drinking at the local bar in Lima. They had only stopped when the bar closed down and they were forced to take a cab back home, rental car forgotten in the parking lot. It was easier to drink and to forget how much Sam’s word had actually hurt them than to man up and come face the music.

As they climbed up the stairs, they could hear the music clearly now.

 _I see you at a party and you look the same_  
I could take you back  
But people don't really change  
Wish that we could go back in time  
I'd be the one you thought you'd find

 _Love isn't all that it seems_  
I did you wrong  
I'll stay here with you  
Till this dream is gone

As they reached the top of the stairs, they came face-to-face with a very sleepy Carol that had just excited Kurt’s bedroom. Looking behind her they could see Sam siting in front of the bed and singing softly, strumming the melody on his guitar.

She took one look at them and let out a loud sigh before silently telling them to follow her. She led them to the bathroom, where she opened a cupboard with pills and plastic hospital cups.

“Alright, two advils each and a tall glass of water. And I better not find the rental car in the driveway!”

Rachel took the pills and the water glass with her head bowed first. “Thank you, Mrs. Finn. Yourrr niiiiiice even if I’m kinda a big meany to your son.” Without waiting for an answer she quickly bolted out of the room.

Santana quietly took her pills and downed the whole glass immediately. She mumbled and quiet thank you and joined Rachel in the bedroom. Filling the last glass, she handed it to Kurt before ushering him out of the bathroom. She gave him a small smile before heading to her own bedroom, she only took a few steps before the voice of her step-son made her stop in her tracks.

“Does it happen often?” He asks clearly, suddenly not as drunk as he seemed.

“It’s a regular thing.”

“As bad as this afternoon?”

“No, that only happens when there’s a trigger. Usually they calm down once Sam sings for them.”

He doesn’t ask more and turns around to head in his bedroom. He doesn’t need to ask what the trigger was today; he knows it’s because of their arrival.


	6. Of Glee Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Brittany have amicably broken up; their feelings were always more of friendship than love anyways.  
> Puck is already in the military while Finn tries to figure things out.

**Lima: Hummel-Hudson household**

Kurt loved getting woken up by the sunlight streaming through the window. He would feel the warmth on his face, waking him up just enough to turn around in the bed and snuggle closer to Blaine…

 _But Blaine doesn’t have long hair like that… and Blaine’s not in my bed!_ Those were Kurt’s last thought before he woke up with a startle.

He was in bed with Santana and Rachel, still dressed in yesterday’s clothes. He decided to blame the alcohol for the fact that he kind of wished he had woken up next to Blaine instead of next to his two room-mates. Plus, he had Adam and New York: he was perfectly fine the way things were at the moment and shouldn’t be thinking about his ex-boyfriend.

“For now, I need coffee.” He grumbled before trying to leave the bed discreetly without waking up the two girls who probably had as massive a hangover as him.

“Me toooo.” Came a muffled voice on his left. He turned his head to notice that both girls were wide awake. He immediately noticed that Rachel’s eyes seemed to be red from crying, one look from her told him she didn’t want to talk about it right now, but a wild guess was that staying in Finn’s room was maybe too much for her.

They very slowly got up from the bed and changed into more comfortable clothing (i.e. sweatpants) before sluggishly making their way downstairs. Even though they didn’t want to have to face the people downstairs, they were in dire need of caffeine to help their hangover. Still in their half-awake state, they passed by Kurt’s old bedroom and failed to notice that the door was wide open and its occupants gone.

They came down the stairs quietly and stopped in the middle when they took notice of the scene that was happening in front of them. Mirroring yesterday’s scene, Sam and Carol were seated cross-legged on the couch eating a bowl of cereal. Burt was nowhere to be seen, though some shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. What was the most striking about the scene unfolding in the Hummel-Hudson living room, was the two young teenagers seated on the floor in front of the couch.

They both looked terrible. Blaine’s hair wasn’t gelled down and his curls were all over the place, his glasses did nothing to hide the dark circles under his eyes, and he was still wearing Finn’s old clothes that made him look so very thin and sickly. Brittany was not in a much better state, with her hair loose around framing her face, dark bags were also present under her lifeless eyes. Blaine was munching on what appeared like a dry piece of toast, while Brittany had apparently finished her toast and was working on an apple. Complete comfortable silence filled the room as everyone was eating their breakfast.

Silence that was broken by the creaking of the stairs that Kurt made when he took a step down. Suddenly there were four pair of eyes on them; frozen in shock as they stared at each other.

And then Brittany was sprinting to the kitchen, where she proceeded to empty the content of her stomach in the sink. Santana was the first to snap out of her stupor and raced down the stairs to rush to her ex-lover’s side.

“Hey Britt, you okay?” She said approaching her, but as she reached out to stroke her shoulder the blond snapped away from her.

Many people have accused her of not having a heart throughout the years, but at that very moment Santana knew she most definitely had one since she heard it break into pieces. Brittany was looking at her with a look of absolute terror in her eyes, as if Santana’s touch would kill her on the spot. Her blue eyes were darting from side to side, looking for comfort. Without a single word, she sprinted back to the living room and latched onto Blaine’s arm as if her life depended on it.

Kurt and Rachel approach the kitchen as if nothing has happened, and silently reach for the coffee pot before taking a seat at the dining table.

“Why don’t you guys go take a shower?” Burt’s voice finally breaks the silence as he looks at the occupants of the living room.

Sam gets up and grabs the dirty dishes before setting them up on the pile, with the other dirty dishes. When he returns to the living room he grabs Blaine’s hand and leads him upstairs, followed closely by Carol holding Brittany’s hand.

An awkward silence once again reigns over the house, none wanting to question why Blaine and Brittany need to be accompanied to be showered. Burt slowly gets up to fill his coffee cup and leans by the counter looking at his son with a disappointed glare.

“If you are waiting for an apology, you’ll be waiting for a long time, dad.” Comes the clipped response.

A deep sigh. “I know.”

“I mean; Sam says we’re selfish. But you guys aren’t really any better. We might not know everything about life in Lima, but you don’t know more about life in New York.”

“Let me stop you there, kiddo. We know everything about your life in New York. I know all about your NYADA classes. About all the parties you attend. About karaoke night every Friday at the bar down the street. About your neighbors: the creepy looking one, the one who’s probably a prostitute, the old lady that you haven’t seen in months and is probably dead in her flat.”

“Everyone knows about that!” Interjects Rachel, since Kurt seemed too stunned to answer.

“Really? So everyone know that you have a thing going on with your T.A in NYADA Rachel? Or about Santana and her girlfriend Dani from the diner, where you all started working recently? Or even the fact that my son has a boyfriend and didn’t think it was worth it to mention it to me? Or maybe about all the times you guys get drunk and high every other week? All the idiotic decisions you make: the tattoos, the drugs; EVERYTHING!” Burt stopped. His anger was palpable and he had to stop himself before he started saying things that he would regret.

Horror struck the face of the three young adults. How did he know all of that? It was all true… They were getting caught up in the frenzy that was New York, and enjoying most of it. The alcohol, the occasional drugs, the sex…. All of it. And if Kurt’s dad was aware…. How many people knew? Rachel’s dads? Santana’s family? Their old friends?

“We know all about it. We live in a house full of teenagers; news gets around. The only reason why I, or anyone for that matter, never mention it; is probably because we didn’t want to believe it was true.” Another sigh, all the weight of the emotions was starting to take its toll on him. He sits down at the table, at the opposite end of the three gaping teenagers. “We don’t recognize you kids anymore; you’ve changed. And it’s okay to change, you’re growing up after all. And it okay to try new things; but you mustn’t forget who you really are. Stop trying to pretend; and just be yourself. And if people don’t like who you really are, then they can go and screw themselves!”

No answer was offered to the older man in the room. Of course they were aware they were changing, but they simply got caught up in the excitement of New York city. Their behavior was a touchy subject that they didn’t really enjoy speaking about, too many judgments from too many people. But in the end, whose opinion really mattered?

Before they could answer Burt’s questioning (did he really want answer or was it rhetorical), the silence of the house was broken by the front door slamming open.

“Morning Mr. H.”

Burt turned his head. “Good morning Sugar, Unique. They’re showering, the rooms are cleared.”

They quickly said thank will climbing the stairs and continuing their small talk up the stairs. Before they could come down, the door once again opened and suddenly Marley and Kitty were in the household. Their hands were full of containers of what appeared to be food and they were talking as if what was going on was normal right now.

“Let’s move to the living room we’ll be in their way.” Says Burt, gesturing them to move away from the dining room. “Good morning girls.”

The two looked up and greeted him before continuing their small talk.

“I’m just saying you have to be careful.”

“Why just because he’s older?”

“No, because of the reputation he has. He cheated like multiple times.”

“We don’t know that for sure, those are just rumors spread by the football idiots.”

“Come on Kitty, you know that rumors always have a part of truth.”

“I know… Anyways it’s nothing serious right now, we’re just enjoying each other’s company.”

Suddenly the whole house seemed a buzz around the three New Yorkers who were befuddled in the living: Kitty and Unique came down the stairs, each holding a basket of dirty clothes; Marley and Kitty got to stocking the fridge with some food and cleaning the dirty dishes. Burt seemed, for the first time, finally to be relaxing while the New Directions were completing chores around the house.

Before they could ask what was going on, the door opened once again to reveal Artie and Tina with their school bags. The quickly greeted everyone before installing themselves at the dining room table and taking out their homework. They were joined a few moments later by Sam, Blaine and Brittany; the latter of the three with wet hair fresh from the shower.

Carole came down and plopped herself onto the couch next to her husband before looking at the kids. “You guys should go take a shower. You can borrow my car after to go get your rental downtown.”

They nodded and headed off, this situation was simply too much for them to process.

**

When they returned with the rental car, none of them had yet to address what had happened that morning in the Hudson-Hummel household. As they pulled up, they could see that one other car had appeared in the driveway. It was an old Mustang that seemed in quite a bad shape. They got out of the car to take in the scene in front of them, still too stunned to say anything.

Burt and Joe were working on the old Mustang; Ryder, Jake and Sam were throwing a football around; Unique, Sugar, Kitty and Marley were busy folding sheets (why were they doing that outside?); Tina and Carol were sitting in the lawn chair talking with Artie; and Brittany and Blaine were huddle under the tree.

It looked like a scene out of a movie, with everybody looking the happiest that they had looked in a while. Everything just looked so familiar and comfortable that a pang of jealousy hit the trio. Even more so, when Kurt and Santana noticed the way that Blaine and Brittany were seated. With Brittany on Blaine’s lap, they looked like two lovers enjoying the sunny day.

“This doesn’t feel like home anymore.”

“We don’t really have a place here now do we?”

“We should leave; we have an 8 hours drive.”

“Agreed.”

 


	7. Of Adaptations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to anyone who are hating the New York trio right now, don’t worry they go back to normal (mostly) pretty soon. They just needed a wake up call of some sorts ;)
> 
> Warning: brief mention of self-harm!
> 
> I swear we're getting to some Klaine fluff real soon, like next chapter!!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading the story, I appreciate it a lot!

**New York City**

The drive back home had been very quiet, with the occasional snarky comment here and there where they were mostly trying to convince themselves that they were not in the wrong. It’s not that they really felt so much better than anyone, moving to the city had been quite hard for them too. It was just easier to pretend as if everything was fine, as if they were on top of the world and better than everyone; because the reality was far from it.

Santana still didn’t know what to do exactly with her life, and was still crashing at Kurt and Rachel’s place. She did enjoy the company of Dani very much, the young woman was nice and caring. She wasn’t too haughty, and was very good at calming her when Snix wanted to come out. She didn’t forget about Brittany and the look of absolute fright when she had tried to touch her. The Latino had tried to text her friend on a few occasions, but it was still radio silent on the blonde’s side. She had tried to text Quinn to see if she had any news, but had been disappointed with the answer.

**To Quinn: What’s up with Brit’s parents?**

_From Quinn: Hello to you too Santana, it’s lovely to hear from you. I’m afraid I don’t understand your question, things with her parents are same as usual._

**To Quinn: Then why the hell is she living with Procelain’s family?**

_From Quinn: Isn’t it obvious?_

**To Quinn: If it was I sure wouldn’t be asking now would I?**

_From Quinn: It’s the same as always: they just don’t care._

**To Quinn: Wdy mean same as always?**

_From Quinn: Come on San, do you really think good parents would let their daughters get a 0.0 GPA?_

Santana stared at her screen flabbergasted, how could she had never noticed? Sure, Brittany’s parents were always a little off, but they meant well.

_From Quinn: Look, I need to go to class. I’ll talk to you later. You might want to call her, she sounded much better when we talked last time. She could use a friend._

She let a sigh escape her lips before pocketing her phone and leaving the apartment. It was easier to ignore all the feelings that she was feeling, than dealing with; at least for now. She’d fix this when they go back for regionals.

Rachel took a different approach to dealing with her guilt: she ignored it completely. True to her nature, she dived into her classes at NYADA and resumed enjoying her budding relationship with Brody. Did she think about Finn? Yes, all the time. Did she tell anyone about it? No, never in a million years.

While the three of them had silently agreed to be better people, Kurt was the one trying the hardest. They had all stopped the excessive partying, drinking and other substances consumption; trying to find back their identity. He had taken a silent vow to talk more to his dad; his disappointment had hurt more than anything else he had ever lived. So, the regular phone calls, and even the odd texts here and there, returned. Kurt made sure that his dad knew all about his life; even his semi-relationship with Adam (he still wasn’t too sure about that one). But most of all, he had tried to reach out to Blaine once more. Yet, for all the texts and calls he had made, he hadn’t received an answer. Until he did.

 **From Blaine:** **Stop.**

_To Blaine: Stop what? Please Blaine, I just want to help. I told you before, you’re still my best friend._

**From Blaine: Just stop Kurt. This really isn’t helping him.**

_To Blaine: Him? Who to hell is using his phone?_

**From Blaine: Finn.**

Getting slightly riled up that his half-brother was preventing him from talking to Blaine, he picked up the phone and quickly called the cellphone of his old lover. Finn picked up after the first ring, but didn’t speak.

“Finn, what the hell? Put Blaine on.”

_“No Kurt, there’s no chance that I’ll be doing that. You have to stop trying to talk to him.”_

Sigh. “Finn, I just want to talk to him. I saw how in bad shape he was last week; I want to help him. I still-”

_“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Finn spat out with anger in his voice._

The hate seeping through Finn’s voice froze Kurt on the spot and rendered him speechless. He had rarely heard his brother so angry, and frankly it was not a situation he liked being in.

“I-I mean; you don’t how it was Finn! You weren’t even there! In fact, why in the world do you have Blaine’s phone.”

 _“True I wasn’t there, but I am now.”_ What remained unsaid was the _you are not,_ yet Kurt heard it loud and clear. _“He’s not allowed to have his phone right now, he’s doing well and he doesn’t need you right now.”_

“How can you say that? You don’t know how he feels; you don’t know what we have? Why would I not be allowed to talk to him, but you are? TELL ME WHY?!” He yelled.

_“BECAUSE WE FINALLY GOT HIM TO STOP TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF!!! And YOU will just ruin everything! He’s in a fucking bad place and we’re trying to pull him out of the shadows. You talking to him will just bury him back there. You. Are. Not. Helping. Don’t call again.”_

The line went dead as Finn hung up and Kurt was left to stare at his phone in the middle of his loft; alone. He was still trying to process what had been said. Was Blaine really in such a bad place that he was attempting to-? Just the thought and image was enough to send Kurt running to the bathroom where he proceeded to empty the content of his stomach. He quickly cleaned himself up, sent a quick text that he had a migraine and didn’t want to be disturbed, and curled up on his bed crying himself to sleep.

When he woke up, the nauseous feeling he had yesterday was still very much present. He had tried to call Finn once again, but he was convinced the latter had blocked his number. Realistically he knew that he couldn’t go back to Ohio this weekend, he had work to do and midterms coming up as well. He would have to wait until Spring Break when they’d go up to Lima for regionals. In the mean time, he had to do everything he could to occupy his mind and not think about what state Blaine could be in.

He took every possible shift at the dinner, stayed at school to practice at every opportunity, and even took some extra credit work when possible. If the girls noticed that he was busier than usual and that he was running himself down; none commented on the situation. As for the Adam situation… well that was a problem he had yet to fix. He knew very well that he did not have any romantic feelings for the Brit, but he didn’t quite know how to tell him. The last time he hard tried to break up with him, when they had returned from Ohio, it had not quite go how he had planned as Adam had instead blurted out that he loved him. Feeling too cheap to dump him then and there, Kurt had simply smiled and said that he wasn’t ready to say it now. Since then, he had tried as hard as he could to distance himself and ignore the cute blonde; hoping that he would get the message. He did not.

A little more than a week later, on the Friday morning that kicked off Spring Break, Kurt, Rachel, and Santana stood frozen in the middle of the airport as they stared at their “better halves” of New York.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“You guys have been so stressed since coming back last time, we figured maybe you’d like some backup this time. Surprise!”

Surprise indeed. Was it a good one? Well that depends on who you ask.


	8. Of Pre-Regionals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will update really soon; it's Spring Break here (yay!).
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy !

**_Chapter 7- Of Pre-Regionals_ **

**Lima, Ohio- McKinley high school**

The plane ride had been a whole new level of awkwardness for Kurt. Under no circumstances did he want Adam to come home with him, especially if he wanted to fix things with Blaine. Santana and Rachel, after their initial shock, had seemed genuinely happy to have their significant other present for their week-long trip to their hometown. At least they had been until Kurt had decided to burst Rachel’s bubble by mentioning that Finn was back home. She had suddenly grown quiet and had refrained from talking the rest of the trip. It was petty that he had decided to make Rachel as miserable as him, but it did make him feel better about his situation.

Adam had decided to sprung another surprise on them when he revealed that Brody and him had decided to rent a van for the week, so that they could get around town easily all together. Kurt had immediately taken the wheel and resumed his silent treatment with Rachel sitting beside him. The closer they came to Lima, the more condescending (at least to Kurt it seemed) their comments about how _charming_ their hometown got. By the time they pulled up to their old school’s parking lot, Kurt was getting more than pissed off from all the comments and couldn’t wait to get out. He didn’t need to be reminded just how quaint everything was and oh how different from New York it was.

As they were getting out of the car, a shiny black Land Rover pulled up next to them. In a moment of panic, they thought it was Vocal Adrenaline who had come to screw things up once more. However, it was much worse as they saw Sebastian and a few other Dalton boys, out of their uniforms, climb out of the car. They were joking around until they spotted the other group present in the parking lot and they suddenly grew quiet. Shock registered on their faces as they took in sight of the others.

“What the hell are you doing here Twink?” said Santana with a snort.

Sebastian seemingly much calmer than they had ever seen him, he answered the question softly without any venom in his tone. “We’re transferring here.”

“Got tired of losing?” The New Yorkers laughed, not quite believing the situation.

“Who do you think you are?” came the scream of one of the Warbler. “Do you think we’re so petty?”

The agony present in the scream shocked even Santana who grew quiet as she watched Sebastian put his hand on the boy’s shoulder to calm him down before answering the question very calmly. “Dalton burned down to the ground. McKinley was nice enough to allow us to transfer here.”

Well, shit. So much for turning a new leaf and not coming off as snarky. Before they could stutter their apology, the ex-Warblers quickly disappeared inside the school. Once more, they had forgotten that life was still happening and bad things are not a rare occurrence in life.

Still feeling very guilty for their senseless comment, they made their way inside the school to see the New Directions. They passed by the choir room, finding it wide open; but with no one inside.

“You practiced here? How very quaint! I mean no wonder you think NYADA’s installations are great, this is…” Adam started laughing before finishing his sentence, with Brody joining in as they critiqued McKinley.

By the time they reached the auditorium, Kurt was positively fuming from all of the comments from Brody and Adam. Sure, McKinley wasn’t a rich and posh school, but it was his high school and he had great memories here. Rachel and Santana gave the impression that the comments were not affecting them as they laughed in with the other, quipping here and there an anecdote of their high school years. Kurt hummed when a question was directed his way, but kept quiet otherwise. In his mind he kept trying to picture the shooting and how it had happened, silently wishing that he could have been there for Blaine.

When they arrived at the auditorium, surprisingly, it wasn’t Mr. Shue that greeted them, but a smiling Finn. Kurt had texted him before leaving New York, mentioning that they would have some extra people accompanying them. He had a feeling that surprises were not a great thing for Blaine and Brittany.

“Hi guys! How was your flight and emu… drive?” he said, standing a bit awkwardly in front of them.

Kurt seemed to be the only one to respond as he moved to hug his brother and quickly introduce the three new people with them. He hadn’t told the girls that Finn was helping with the bleed club, he secretly wanted to see their baffled face when they saw him.

“Where’s Mr. Shue?” Asked Rachel, obviously uncomfortable by the whole situation.

Finn didn’t seem to like her question as he started rubbing his neck nervously. “Oh, eum… Meeting with Sue actually. We need some money… for clothes for tomorrow!”

“You didn’t get the dresses yet? Aren’t you cutting it a little close?” Shrieked Rachel.

The young man looked even more uncomfortable than before as he answered: “No we got the dresses and the guy’s clothes… We just decided to go with long sleeves instead, we’ll go buy them this afternoon so no biggie... Anyways we don’t really need to practice for tomorrow.” The last part was said confidently as Finn looked proudly over to the bunch of teenagers who seemed to be doing everything but practicing.

“You sure, mate? Cause from my point of view you seem to be needing it.” Interrupted Adam. “I’m the leader of a glee club myself; Adam’s Apple. I would never allow them to fool around like that in rehearsal.”

“I agree; their dancing looks sloppy at best. I’m an assistant teacher at NYADA, I can see potential.” Added Brody looking particularly smug.

It was true to an outside eye the group looked everything but ready. Blaine and Marley were sitting at the piano strumming the keys; Brittany was practically seated on Sebastian’s lap as they seemed to be critiquing the dancing of Spencer, Joe and Sam; Unique, Tina and Kitty were fiddling around with some purple dresses; and Artie, Sugar and the Warblers seemed to be playing some sort of game. To an outsider it looked like chaos, to Kurt, Rachel and Santana, it reminded them of every competition they ever did; everyone had their own way to de-stress before a show.

Finn’s smile strained at the boy’s comments, as Kurt rolled his eyes and prepared a snarky remark. Before he could open his mouth, their old teacher came trotting in the auditorium; obviously happy to see them all.

“You’re already here!? It’s so good to see you!” he smiled, greeting everyone with the same joy. He briefly turned to Finn, after having exchanged pleasantries: “Sue gave us the money Finn. Think you can bring everyone at the mall later on to buy things?”

“Yep, no problem. We’re pretty much done anyways.” He said, ignoring the pointed look that Brody and Adam were giving each other.

“What song are you doing at the competition tomorrow? We figure we could help, you know with us being NYADA students and all.” Said Rachel, still pointedly ignoring Finn.

“That’s a surprise! We can’t show you before the show, but maybe we can give you a nationals’ preview.” Mr. Shue said with a wink before getting everyone’s attention. “Alright guys, I’ve got news huddle up.”

The group stopped what they were doing, before huddling up to the front of the stage to listen to their teacher.

“Alright, so bad news first: as we suspected, Sue couldn’t get the transfers approved in time for the competition tomorrow.” A general sigh of disappointment came over the New Directions. “I know, I know. We’ll have to do without the Warblers for this one, but they’ll be transferred in time for Nationals!”

“And we’ll still come cheer you guys on; so you better win!” Said Sebastian as everyone cheered around him. Kurt thought he looked like a completely different person than last year, much more calm and mature. Santana for her part, renewed her hatred for him as she found Brittany hanging a little too close to him for her liking.

Adam leaned into Kurt and whispered into his ear: “Little preposterous of them to already think they’ll make it to national, no?” The young man simply huffed and weakly nodded, and turned his attention back to the stage. He could have said what was on his mind, however he didn’t want to cause a scene in front of everybody.

“I think we should show our guest, what the new and improved glee club looks like.” Said Finn with a grin.

“I agree with you Finn. Anyone has a number they’d like to present?”

“I think the boys should do _Fighter._ ”

A chorus of yeah erupted from the auditorium as everyone turned to Sebastian and Blaine who were smiling at each other.

“Great idea Tina!” Replied Finn. “Since we have professionals here they can tell us if anything wrong with Mike’s choreography.”

While Adam, Brody and Rachel were positively beaming with the praise, Kurt and Santana had quickly realized that Finn didn’t really mean it as a compliment, but rather; he was mocking them.

The girls quickly gathered together in the front seats and made sure that Brittany was surrounded by them; they hadn’t plan that Santana simply wouldn’t care.

“Hey Brit.” She said, surprisingly softly for her, as she found a way to go around the girls and approach her.

“Hi.” Was the weak response before she turned around clutching Kitty’s hand, the latter who was positively glaring at Santana.

“You got a problem with me blondie?”

“Several actually, but I promised to behave so I’ll keep them to myself.”

Before Santana could answer, Dani put her hand on her elbow and guided her to a seat. “Let’s not cause a scene.”

“Yeah, sit with us. Let’s look how good the little glee club think they are.” Adam said with a laugh.

They were good. Actually better than good. Blaine and Sebastian were singing it as a [duo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oUlS0U-UZU) and it was unbelievably good. The choreography, true to Mike’s talent, was incredibly precise and well executed. The Warbler’s style was also incorporated into the movements with a more technical dance than what was usually known from the New Directions.

Kurt felt Rachel squeeze his hand as tears sprung to his eyes, listening to the lyrics was killing him inside. Every word was resonating so deeply with how he was feeling, and the way that Blaine and Sebastian seemed to enjoy each other; was not helping Kurt’s feelings. He did, however, feel so proud to watch him dance and see the stunned look on Brody and Adam’s voice. They had nothing to say about the routine, it was perfect.

“They’re good.” He heard Rachel whisper.

“Better than we ever were.” He responded. “They’re singing as a unity.”

The number was not simply concentrating on the soloist; everyone had a part and that’s what made it that much more special.


	9. Of the First Blow-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!  
> Someone asked for more Birttany; it's coming next chapter!!
> 
> It was hard to write a fighting scene, I hope I did an okay job :)

**_Chapter 8- Of Blow-Ups_ **

**Lima, Ohio -Mall**

For some reason, they found themselves following the teenagers to the mall to buy the long sleeves necessary for tomorrow’s competition. Rachel kept arguing that it would probably be better to go with short sleeves, as they had during last years’ nationals. Kurt had kept his mouth shut, although he had a very good idea of why they needed to cover the arms of certain people. It wasn’t his place to say, so he let Rachel rant to Adam who was talking about the different attires that the Adam’s Apple had had.

Kurt was trying so very hard to keep his calm, but he was finding it harder than ever. In fact, the more that he thought about it, he realized that Adam and him had never truly spent so much time together. Now that they were spending so much time in each other’s company, it seemed that every little thing that had ever bugged him about the English boy was coming back full force.

They were bringing their purchase to the cash register, the girls had picked up some black long sleeve boleros, while the boys had settled on simple black cardigans, when they heard the live band coming for the plaza next to the store. The teens glanced at each other before dumping their shirt on the counter and running to the center.

“What in the world are they doing?” asked Brody.

“Enjoying life.” Said Finn, clearly amused by the situation. He handed the platinum (presumably the school’s) credit card to the bored cashier “You guys should try it sometimes.”

“Oh trust me mate, we do plenty of enjoying in the city.” Answered Adam cockily.

Finn picked up the bags and hummed: “Clearly not, or you wouldn’t be so stuck up.”

Kurt snorted as he followed Finn, while the others seemed to ignore the last comment, outside just in time to hear Blaine bust out the first notes of a song.

_We-eee-eeel….._

_You know you make me wanna (Shout!)_

_Kick my heels up and (Shout!)_

_Throw my hands up and (Shout!)_

_Throw my head back and (Shout!)_

A smile crept on the former Lima resident’s face; this was what glee club was all about: impromptu singing to have fun. Santana had her eyes glued on Brittany that seemed to be truly smiling for the first time, as she danced with Sam and sang along to the song. Rachel reminisced to the intervention that the New Directions had for her in the same mall when she thought about changing her nose, they had reminded her that she was perfect the way she was, no need to change. Both girls felt a sudden wave of happiness rush through them as they watched and enjoy the performance. Kurt, on the other hand, had conflicted emotions. While he was delighted to see all of them enjoying themselves and being carefree, he was less than pleased when he saw how well Blaine and Sebastian were getting along. It didn’t matter to him that the meerkat face Warbler had seemingly changed; he still didn’t like him. Or maybe he didn’t like the fact that Blaine seemed so relaxed and happy next to him, but so guarded and sad every time he looked at Kurt.

“How juvenile!” snorted Adam.

“I can’t believe this, it’s totally like 2010.” Joked Brody.

Finn sighed loudly and dumped the bags at their feet before turning around: “Like I said: stuck up.”

_Now wai-a-ait a minute!_

_I feel aaaaaallllllright_

_Now that I got my woman_

_I feel aaaaaallllllright_

As Finn spun Kitty so she had her back to his chest, the frown on Rachel’s face got bigger as she crossed her arms and pouted. Swear to god, the woman was actually pouting! Kurt rolled his eyes at her, and picked up the bags that Finn had just recently dumped.

“What’s next are they gonna do a lip dub?” Adam quipped, making Brody burst out with laughter.

That was the final straw.

“Will you shut the fuck up?”

They all turned towards Kurt who very rarely cursed.

“B-baby what’s wrong?”

“Shut up! I told you to never call me that!” Ah, the famous fight of November, as Rachel had dubbed it. When Kurt had forbidden Adam to ever call him that; without really giving him a valid reason. He couldn’t very well tell him it was because that particular nickname was reserved for his ex-boyfriend now, could he?

“And you are what is wrong! God, you are so annoying and conceited it’s unbelievable. You think you’re all that and at the top of the fucking world; well you’re not.” He was on a roll, everything was just coming out of his mouth; swear words and truths. “We haven’t even been here for 24 hours and you’ve ridiculed everything that I love. That _little_ glee club of amateurs, as you call them, could kick you Apple’s ass in their sleep! How conceited must you be to name your glee club after you, who does that? And they are NOT being juvenile they are enjoying life; if you didn’t have a stick up your ass maybe you would try it once in a while!”

“Kurt, maybe you should stop and have this discussion at home.” Said Rachel in her motherly tone, the one where she made sure he knew she disapproved of his behavior.

“No, I. Will. Not. Because I don’t want him in my house, I don’t want him to meet my dad or Carol or Finn or Mr. Shue or any of my friends.”

“W-hat? But I came all the way here for you; because we’re in love!”

“I didn’t ask you! You arbitrarily chose to come; to surprise me. Which, if you ever listened to anything I say, you would know that I hate! I don’t like surprises Adam! Especially not ones where you come to my hometown and criticise everything and everyone. You think you are so much better than everyone here, why? Cause you live in New York? Well let me tell you, these people are a thousand time and more; better people than you will ever be!” He stopped to breathe as tears starting to sting his eyes, there were too many emotions surfacing at once for him to handle. “A-and I may have lost my way for a while in New York, I may have become an self-centered jerk like you; but I am trying; I want, to be better. I want to be me again; a kind individual that doesn’t judge people based on school gossip, that doesn’t mock others, that doesn’t think he’s better than anyone else. Coming back here just reminded me of all that!”

“You’re just acting up because we’re here; where you have so many bad memories. We’ll be fine once we’re back in the city; you’ll be back to normal!”

He could see Finn making his way back, the song was over; he needed to wrap this up.

“No, because you don’t know the normal me. I’m not who you think I am Adam. The guy I was pretending to be in New York for a while; it’s not me. I have the best memories of my life here; I don’t hate it as much as I pretend. I don’t like parties; I like staying in and watching movies. I don’t like practicing with the Adam’s Apple; frankly I think you guys suck. I hate that you are always telling me how to dress, or the fact that you always chose what we eat, or that you always have something degrading to say about every single student at NYADA. And I am most certainly not in love with you; never have been.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me all this before I bloody come here?!?” Adam’s sadness had slowly turned into anger as he spat out the words.

“I tried! But you are so conceited, every single time I try to tell you something important you just cut me off and start talking about you! I tried to distance myself from you, which I know is a childish way to deal with a problem; but you left me no choice!”

Adam looked at Kurt with an arrogant glare before snorting. “I’m worth so much more than this crap. I’m worth much more than you Kurt Hummel; frankly you never deserved me and I’ll make sure everyone knows that. I’m out of this shit place and I never want to see you and your pathetic talentless self.”

He turned on his heels and headed towards the door with angry strides as the party watched on bewildered.

“Let’s go home, bro.” Finn said has he put his hand on his shoulder; just how much of the conversation had he heard?

He nodded weakly and let himself be guided to the car, he finally felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He could breathe again.


	10. Of Pre-Regionals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me through this story! I hope very much you enjoy it :)

**_Chapter 9- Of Regionals_ **

**Lima, Hudson-Hummel house**

As soon as they had entered the house, Sam and Finn had declared the two guests of the house needed a shower and had rushed upstairs; leaving Kurt with a confused mom and dad.

“Hey, kiddo nice to see you. How are you feeling?”

“How much did Finn already tell you?”

Sigh. “Everything.”

“Good. No need to repeat. He was no one important and now he’s gone. You wouldn’t have liked him anyways.”

He smiled weakly at his dad, silently telling him that he didn’t really want to talk about that particular subject anymore. They settled into some small talk about different aspects of Kurt’s life, it was less awkward than the last time he had been in Lima since the young man had actually made an effort to stay in contact this time.

When Carol declared that she would start dinner, Kurt mentioned going to speak to Finn real quick before coming back down to help. He climbed the stairs and let his bag in his empty room, if he didn’t know for a fact that Blaine and Brittany still slept there he would have thought it was always empty. As he exited his room, he noticed a third hole in the wall where the previous two had been. He had only glanced at Finn’s hand while he was gripping the steering wheel, but he was pretty sure the bruises of his knuckles came from the wall; he would investigate later on.

When he got to Finn’s room he was surprise to see Brittany sitting on the bed, the oversize hoodie she was wearing was making her look even more frail and delicate than before. She looked up when she heard noise and a faint smile graced her lips.

“Hi.” She said meekly.

“Hey.” He could do this; he could act normal; right? “I eum… thought I heard the shower stop and…”

“It did, I’m not it anymore.”

“Right… Anyways I just wanted to tell Finn he could sleep in my bed tonight; you know to avoid sleeping on the uncomfortable ground.”

“He’ll be out soon.”

Kurt stood awkwardly in the door frame, not knowing if he could actually continue the conversation or if Brittany still hated him. Not that he was 100% certain that she hated him before, after all the young girl didn’t have a mean bone in her body.

“How are you?” The question asked by the young blond brought him out of his pondering. He snapped his head up to look at her and see her patting the bed space in front of her.

He slowly made his way towards the bed to sit on the edge: “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

“People ask me that all the time. I have a feeling people don’t ask you very often.”

Wow. Since when had the ditzy cheerleader become so wise?! He sighed audibly before answering truthfully. “I’m okay actually. I feel better now that I’m free, I can stop pretending to be someone I’m not.”

“I like you as Kurt Hummel.”

“Me too. I just forgot who he was for a while.”

She nodded briefly before tugging on her sweater’s sleeves; she was uncomfortable and his earlier suspicions about the necessary long sleeves were confirmed.

“He looked like a big meanie anyways.” She finally says with a genuine smile.

He returns her smile and answers: “Yes he was.”

“Is eum… Santana’s girlfriend…?” she half-whispered.

“She’s actually a lot nicer and she makes Santana happy… at least I think. You never truly know with her…”

“That’s good. She deserves to be happy.” _And I don’t_ is left unsaid, but he can see it clearly written all over her face.

He thinks back to the holes on the wall; to what he heard on that fateful night; to what Finn said when he had called. He’s slowly realizing that his friends’ self-esteem is much lower than he thought.

“You do too, deserve to be happy I mean.” He says softly while grabbing her hand.

 She looked as if she wanted to say more, but clamp her mouth shut when she noticed that new people had entered the room. Kurt didn’t need to turn around to know who it was; it showed in her body language. She suddenly looked much more relaxed and stopped fidgeting with her shirt sleeve as her eyes soften significantly.

As he got up from the bed and took a step back, Blaine immediately jumped on the bed and Brittany latched herself on his arm. They still both looked tired and hurt, but there was a lightness to their movements that wasn’t there the last time he had seen them.

“I just wanted to say that you could sleep with me tonight Finn. I mean… it’s probably more comfortable than the floor.” He said before exiting the room to head to take a shower. They were in his house, but he suddenly felt like the odd one out.

**

Finn had accepted Kurt’s offer in the end, preferring a bed much more than the floor after all. The evening had been relatively awkward, with Finn and Sam trying to fill each stretch of silence with some blabbering. In the end, Kurt had escaped the living room to indulge in a long bubble bath to remove some of the stress he felt. He had received multiple texts from Rachel during the evening, and a few from Santana, that everything seemed to be going well on their end with their respective families.

Finn was already in bed when he got back to his room, he slipped in quietly thinking that he was probably already asleep. He had so many things to say; to ask, but in the end only one mattered.

“Where were you last time we came?” he half-whispered. He didn’t know for sure if Finn was awake, but his breathing was far from regular like someone sleeping.

“Psychiatric hospital.” Finn answered softly.

“W-W-What? I mean how? Why?” _Don’t yell Kurt, remember to be nice._

“Needed help, took me a while to realize it.” He sighed audibly. Kurt doesn’t speak; hoping that his brother will open up to him some more. “I just… hated myself you know? It’s hard, when you see everyone you know move on to bigger and better things; but you’re still stuck at the same place as before. Rachel and you were in New York, Quinn was at Yale, Mike and Mercedes in L.A. But It was still in Lima; and I wasn’t getting out soon.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Never told anyone. I started to feel so pathetic, so useless, that I thought no one would care if I was gone. I wasn’t doing anything with my life and didn’t feel like I would ever. Mr. Shue asked me to help with New Directions, but I thought they would just see me as the graduated loser who couldn’t make it out there.”

“Was it him? Who helped you?”

“Your dad actually. He pulled me aside and started talking, and he told me that he and noticed I was always wearing long sleeves now; he was crying and all of a sudden I was balling and he was holding me and telling me that we’d find help for me. He drove me out and I stayed there a few weeks.”

“When did you come out?”

“A couple of days after you left actually. Blaine and Brittany’s condition wasn’t getting any better and they were starting to worry. I realised that I could help them; I had a purpose again. I started helping them here, and then at school. I realised that people weren’t judging me at all; they were happy I was there. It’s stupid really; that I need people’s validation to feel good about myself.”

“It’s not stupid. We all need it.” Kurt interjected. He thought about how much he had changed himself to please people in New York, how much he had needed to fit in. “You look good now though; I’m happy.”

“Working with the New Directions helped me a lot, made me realise I could make a difference just like Mr. Shue made a difference in our lives. When Blaine and Brittany are stable enough I’m thinking of going to get my teacher’s degree.”

“You’ll be an awesome teacher Finn.”

“Thanks bro, now let’s get some sleep now; I think it’s going to be a rough night.” Kurt didn’t need to ask what would make the night rough; he knew that he was a _trigger._

Finn had been right; it had been a very rough night. They had woken up a total of five times from nightmares, and getting them back to sleep proved to be quite the difficult task. As soon as a small noise was made, Finn and Kurt were up and making their way to the bedroom where Sam was already trying to sing them back to sleep and calm. Kurt always stopped at the doorway and sat just outside the room, he figured it was probably better if Blaine didn’t see him. It was around 4am when they got them to sleep for the last time, when Carol came out of her room. Words weren’t needed as she went to go get some sleeping pills to help everyone get a little bit of rest before the big show.

Hopefully, the show would go on without a hitch.


	11. Of Regionals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a really hard time writing this one!! I'm thinking I should probably start looking for a beta.... Any suggestions?

**_Chapter 10- Of Regionals_ **

**Lima, Hudson-Hummel house**

The next morning is awkward, and not much is said between the occupants of the house. Kurt notices how everyone seems intent on keeping Blaine as far away from him as possible, but he didn’t let it get to him; he had a full week to win back some of his trust.

A loud sigh escaped his lips as he flopped down on the couch, he wanted to be patient with Blaine; but the need to be close to him was surging through his body. The emotional and physical desire that he had always had for Blaine was coming full force, he wanted to be close to his best-friend again and share everything with him. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed having Blaine in his life, but now he realized just how lucky he had been to have the young man in his life.

**From Rachel: We’re all still meeting at WMHS for tonight, right?**

_From Kurt: Yup, we got seats reserved._

From Santana: Next to what’s-his-face I’m guessing?

_From Kurt: …_

**From Rachel: I’m sure Sebastian isn’t that bad: people can change!**

_From Kurt: I have my doubts._

**From Rachel: I say we give him the benefit of the doubt.**

_From Kurt: I say you’re turning soft._

From Santana: I say: How’s your drug dealer boyfriend?

_From Kurt: !!! XD_

**From Rachel: HE IS NOT A DRUG DEALER!!!!!**

“Who’s not a drug dealer?”

“Gah! Finn! Don’t scare me like that!” Kurt said clutching his heart, seriously for a guy that big he sure didn’t make a lot of noise.

Finn simply shrugged and pointed back to Kurt’s phone where Rachel’s message was on full display.

“Oh her boyfriend, Brody.” Seeing the look of anger cross his step-brother’s face he quickly added: “I mean he’s not, we think. Santana and I just find it weird that he always has a lot of cash on him and stuff: it’s more a running gag than anything else. Still… I would love to be able to do a background check on him; just to be sure of course.”

Finn hummed lightly before moving to the kitchen with his phone in his hand and Kurt might have heard him say: “I might know a guy”, but he wasn’t sure and didn’t press his brother for more answers.

After his long and relaxing shower, he went through the motions of the day, without too much thought, and before he knew it they were all getting ready to head to McKinley for the regionals competition. After everything he had seen, it didn’t even surprise him an inch when Burt and Carol announced that they would also be coming.

**

**Lima, William-McKinley High School**

They all sat on the edge of their seat as they watched the different groups come back to the stage to receive their awards. They might have been somewhat biased, but in their opinion; New Directions were the clear winners. The girls had rocked it with _Don’t Like It_ , bringing an air of playfulness to the stage. Followed by the boys killing it with _Hall of Fame;_ and Brittany and Blaine had sealed the deal with and emotional duo to the song _All or Nothing_.

“They’re going to win, hands down. They are way better than you were last year!” exclaimed Sebastian, who had been nothing but pleasant for the entire evening (not that he’d ever admit it out loud). Kurt had even enjoyed a few brief conversations with him critiquing the competition.

Rachel huffed at his comment and bit her tongue to avoid saying anything, she obviously didn’t want to admit that he was right; while Santana leaned in to Kurt’s side.

“Hate to say it, but Twink is right.”

“Agreed. It’s not just about one person anymore; they’re on stage as a team.”

Kurt envied the New Directions actually. He envied that it wasn’t all about one person this year. Sure Blaine was the new Rachel, and did sing a little more than the rest: but he wasn’t alone. The songs were evenly divided amongst the other members so that everyone could enjoy their time in the spotlight; something he had never gotten the chance to do.

And so it came at no surprised that when the New Directions were named the winners and celebrated on stage. For the first time in what seemed an eternity, all the members were grinning like crazy as they jumped into each other’s arm. As they walked off the stage, the Warblers gave the New Yorkers a small wave signalling that they should follow him to the choir room where the New Directions were surely awaiting.

**

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!” roared Finn as Ryder and Jake held him back.

No one knew what had triggered him, one minute he was talking to Sebastian about something on his phone while everyone was still on their winning high; the next he was lunging at Brody swearing that he was going to kill him.

“Finn, calm down!”

“Not until that scumbag gets the fuck out!”

“Language young man! That is no way to talk about someone, even if you don’t like them.” Carol said.

“It is when the person is a prostitute!” Finn semi-yelled.

A deafening silence reigned over the choir room as everyone turned to look at the New Yorkers. Rachel had her mouth wide open and was staring at her boyfriend, willing him to say something to contradict what Finn was saying.

“What are you talking about?” the young man asked, of course he was going to play the innocent card here.

Finn huffed loudly, motioning to the boys that they didn’t have to restrain him anymore (they stayed closed anyways). “I wanted to prove to Santana and Kurt that you weren’t a drug dealer, so I had Sebastian do a background check on you.”

“My dad’s a district attorney… I have contacts pretty much anywhere in the country. You Mr. Weston have been arrested twice already on counts of prostitution in the state of New York. You pleaded guilty the two times, and paid the bail; I’ve got all the info right here.”

Brody shifted uncomfortably as everyone in the room stared at him, Rachel had tears stinging her eyes as she gaped at her boyfriend. This couldn’t be true, drug dealer she could (probably) deal with… but prostitute?? Everybody was looking at her, expecting her to say something to her boyfriend, but for once in her life Rachel Berry was speechless.

“I think it’s best if you leave now.” Mr. Shue said, standing in between Brody and Finn. “And that you stay away from Rachel from now on.”

As Rachel saw her (ex)boyfriend, scramble to get out of the class, tears started to well up in her eyes. Never in her life had she been this embarrassed in front of others. Now all the members of glee club new that she went out with a prostitute! She quickly turned around and ran down the hall to go hide in the all-too-familiar girl’s bathroom. She thought that when she was leaving high school she would leave behind all the drama and would move on to a better life. Yet, here she was again: a sobbing mess in William McKinley’s girls’ bathroom.

She pulled her head up and saw her two roommates looking at her with soft eyes and a bit of pity.

“Don’t you dare tell me: We told you so!” she said angrily. “I have never been embarrassed like that, I can never show my face here again. Imagine what they’re all saying about me!”

“They won’t judge you Rach; that’s what the glee club is all about.”

The door opened with a bang, letting in a petite blonde still her competition outfit. She had a scowl on her face as she stared at the three occupants of the bathroom.

“Leave.” She said simply, leaning on the wall.

“What, you can’t use the bathroom if people are listening?” Quipped Santana.

“I mean, leave Lima. Get the hell out of her and go back to New York.”

“Who the hell do you think you are to tell us what to do?”

“Give us a break! We didn’t do anything wrong here!” cried Kurt.

“You being here is what’s wrong.” Kitty said, surprisingly calm. “Things were going great before you arrived: we got Finn back and Blaine and Brittany were finally functioning like normal human beings. But then you come back and mess everything up with your drama!”

“I didn’t ask for this!” yelled Rachel. “I sure didn’t ask my boyfriend to be a prostitute just so I could create some drama at my old high school!”

“Yeah, so how about you back the hell off and stop telling us how to act around our friends or Auntie Snix will come out and play.”

Kitty scoffed. “Bring it.”

Santana started lunging towards Kitty, but was stopped by Kurt blocking her way. He was sturdier than when he was a high schooler; thank god for combat classes. “How about we stop the fighting? There’s been enough drama tonight as is.”

“Sure, as soon as Barbie backs the fuck off.”

“Not gonna happen. I told you: I want you gone. Actually, I’m pretty sure that everybody wants you gone. They’re better off without you in their lives.”

“Those guys have been our friends for much longer than you.” Rachel interjected. “I don’t know what your relationship is with Finn or Brittany or Blaine for that matter but-”

“I’M THE GIRL THAT GOT THEM SHOT!” Kitty yelled, tears stinging her eyes.

“W-what?”

“If I hadn’t been in the choir room that day; if I hadn’t been wearing that STUPID uniform, then they wouldn’t have had to distract the shooter and get shot instead of me. I should’ve been shot; I was wearing my uniform! But they protected me, because that’s what they do: protect their friends. And now… Now they can’t even protect themselves anymore; now it’s our turn to protect them. And that means protecting their hearts from anymore heartbreak you could bring them.”

She took a deep breath, and quickly scrub her eyes to dry the tears that were forming. “If you ever loved them at all, then do them this favor and leave them alone so that they can move on. Let them forget you and try to find happiness with someone else.”

“You mean; with you?” Spat Rachel who couldn’t quite accept the fact that Finn may have moved on from her, and still oblivious to what he had gone through ever since she left for New York.

Kitty simply shrugged: “Who knows? Anyways, when you’re done being overly dramatic; come back to the choir room so that Finn can stop feeling guilty about this whole ordeal.” She said exiting the bathroom.

It took them a minute to compose themselves and head back to the choir room where everyone was waiting for them. Finn was sitting at the drum and started a song, _Be Okay,_ as soon as the trio entered the room. It did not escape their attention that Kitty was standing next to the drum; that Blaine was sitting at the piano with Sebastian; or that Brittany was huddled close to Sam. And while it did stir something in them, they preferred not to make any comments on the fact and instead joined in during the song.

Were they giving up? Absolutely not. They just needed some time to regroup and make a plan of action.


	12. Of Baby Steps

**_Chapter 11- Of Baby Steps_ **

**Lima, Ohio**

By the time he came back to his own house on Monday morning, Kurt was beyond exhausted. They had spent the last two days the four (yes, Dani was still there) together, talking about how much their lives had exploded since they had arrived in Lima. While anger was the first emotion to come out, it all ended in tears as Rachel realised just how much she missed Finn; and Kurt, just how much he needed Blaine in his life. Santana had remained quiet through it all, preferring to offer some snarky remarks here and there; hoping to lift their moral. She had, however, mentioned that she wanted to see Brittany again before leaving; the blonde was still one of her important friend and she didn’t want things to be left the way they were presently. If anyone notice the look of hurt and sadness crossing Dani’s face; no one mentioned it. The young woman had been nothing but wonderful the whole trip here, taking care of the two idiots that had to be driven back to the airport and providing emotional, non-judgmental support. Yet, they all knew that the end was near for her…

As Santana pulled up into the driveway, he noticed that no other cars were present, meaning he would have the house to himself for the first time in a while. It was better that way; his emotions were still so raw that he was pretty sure he was going to break down in the near future. He quickly said his goodbyes to his roommate before dragging his feet in his childhood home.

“Welcome back.”

Kurt was startled as a familiar voice came from the living room, he blinked to see Blaine sitting cross-legged on the couch reading a book.

He smiled gently at his former-lover, who looked downright adorable in his oversize hoodie and sweatpants, with glasses perched on top of his nose.

“Sam and Brittany went to Walgreens to buy eum… some girl stuff.” He answered Kurt’s unvoiced question awkwardly, before returning to his book.

Kurt dropped his backpack down the stairs before moving to the kitchen to make some lemonade. This was the first time he was left alone with Blaine; this was his opportunity to finally make some progress with him. He quickly made two glasses of his famous homemade lemonade before moving back to the living room, fully intent of finally talking to Blaine.

His hopes were crushed however as he approached the couch and tried handing the young man his glass with a soft: “Here, I thought you might enjoy.”

He knew that Blaine had heard him prepare the glasses, and heard him come back into the living room: he had been far from quiet.

Yet, as he handed him the glass, softly touching his shoulder to get his attention, Blaine flinched heavily and stared at him with shock and fright in his eyes. Unable to stop himself, a heavy sigh escaped his lips as he placed the glass on the coffee table and took a place on the adjoining chair. He shut his eyes tightly, willing the tears that were pooling in his eyes not to fall. Kurt didn’t want to make Blaine freak out more, but he couldn’t keep his emotions at bay anymore. He knew that he had messed up, but he wanted to be better so much and to see that Blaine was still afraid of him was breaking his heart more and more each day. He used to be the young man’s confident and now Blaine was too scared of him to even look him in the eyes. Kurt quickly, and hopefully discreetly, brushed his cheek, wiping away a sole tear that had escaped.

He opened his eyes and glanced towards Blaine, hoping that his tears had gone un-noticed.

It had not.

“I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Started Blaine, dropping his book on the floor and grasping his head. “B-b-but of course I did. All I can do is make you cry. It’s all I ever do. I shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be alone with you…. Should’ve left. Should’ve….”

“Blaine, don’t--”

The door swung open as Kurt opened his mouth to talk, in came trotting Burt and Finn coming in from work with their coveralls still present. Yet, it was the middle of the afternoon; the day couldn’t be over?

They took one look around, immediately spotting Blaine who was now crying on the couch while Kurt was standing up in front of him. As soon as Blaine saw them, he bolted upstairs where Finn quickly followed. Resigned, Kurt sat back down in his chair.

“We eum… we had an on-the-road call. Figured we’d stop by and see if everything was okay…”

Kurt took a deep breath as Burt stood awkwardly in the front entrance, he opened his eyes and looked at his father before standing back up.

“Think you can drop me back a Rachel’s on the way to the shop?”

“Yeah, sure kiddo. Did you forget something there?”

Kurt shook his head. “No, I’ll go stay there for the rest of the week. I… I don’t have my place here; I just mess things up.”

“Kurt-”

“It’s fine dad. Maybe next time when I come back things will be better?”

“This is your house; you stay here.”

He walked up to his father, and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “But he… I mean, they, need it more than I do. It’s okay, really. I just want them to get better and that will obviously not happen if I’m here. So I’ll just stay at Rachel’s and come see you during the day at the shop, or maybe have supper when everyone is there. Just… give me a minute to pack things up.”

He quickly climbed the stairs to avoid talking more to his father and having even more tears spilling. He swiftly entered his room and finally let the tears flow freely down his face, he wiped them with his sleeve and moved to pack all his belongings.

Finn and Blaine came back down the stairs moments later and were surprised to see Burt looking glum while talking with Sam and Brittany who had just returned.

“Ready to go?”

“We’ll wait for Kurt.”

“Kurt’s coming with?” Finn questioned.

Burt took a deep breath. “Yeah, we’ll drop him off at Rachel’s… He’ll stay there for the rest of the week. It’s his decision and we’ll have to respect it.” He said, closing the discussion. An awkward silence followed suit, as they pondered what the patriarch had just said.

“Something you want to say Blaine.” Quipped Brittany squeezing his hand.

“I don’t want him to go.” He whispered back, loud enough that all could hear clearly.

**

Knock. Knock.

“Just a minute, I’m almost finished.” Kurt said, quickly stuffing all his products in his bag. For once in his life, he could’ve cared less about the way things were placed. He just needed to get out of here, get to Rachel’s, cry his eyes out (again) and eat a pint of ice cream.

“Kurt?”

The word he had been praying he’d hear Blaine say during this week made him stop his movements.

“Hey, don’t worry; I’m almost done packing.” He answered softly.

“I don’t want you to leave because of me and how...”

“Oh honey; no. I’m not leaving because of you.” He said, finally staring into those beautiful golden orbs. “I’m leaving **for** you, so that you can keep getting better. You’ve been doing so well; I can see it now. And my being here… well it’s not helping.” Kurt answered sadly before zipping up his suitcase and pulling it off the bed. He resisted the urge to pull him into a hug and simply cry on his shoulder, holding him close and relishing the comfort he knew Blaine provided. Instead he stood right in front of him and continued quietly: “Can you move sweetie? I have to go now.”

“Kurt, we’re leaving!” came a loud yell from downstairs.

“He’s not coming!” Yelled back Blaine.

No answer was given downstairs, save for the front door shutting.

“Blaine-”

“Let me talk Kurt, please.” He took a deep breath and stared ahead at Kurt. “I’m not ready to go back to how things were, mostly because of the PTSD, and-but… I-I’m trying, because I want to be okay with you. But I’m not ready yet to talk about it or to… But I need you Kurt; you’re still my best-friend. You leaving is not going to help me; it’s just going to make me feel worse… What I guess I’m saying is that… I’m asking you, my wonderful friend, to please stay the week here and bear with me for a little while longer.” He pleaded.

Kurt stared at those beautiful golden eyes filled with unshed tears, but also with a bit of uncertainty and hope. Maybe, this week wasn’t as a lost cause as he was led to believe.

“Like I could ever say no to you.” He finally answered, dropping his bag back on the bed.

They could do this; baby steps.


End file.
